One year ago today, I was sitting in our backyard holding a hummingbird that had flown into our window. I was simultaneously hoping it would stay forever and be my animal friend and hoping it would fly away. I was hoping it would stay for obvious reasons. Hello! Who wouldn't love an adorable bird who drinks sugar water being your friend?! At the same time, I was hoping it would get better enough to fly away. I had an important call I was waiting for and really wanted to give all of my attention to this call.
Our social worker had emailed us the day before (Thursday) asking if she could call as she had a file of a child she wanted us to consider. I was hopeful, but cautious in my hope. After about 20 minutes of holding this fragile bird and feeding it, it flew off. As I was standing up, my phone rang.
She said he was a six year old boy. She said she thought he would be perfect for us.
I knew. I knew he was our son.
I called Brian to tell him the two simple things we had—his age and gender. Then I went on a walk. I've had strong feelings before, but this was intense. My husband and my family can testify that strong feelings are sometimes the only way I feel things, but this was different. It was confidence and hope and tentative love. All for a six year old boy on the other side of the world. I prayed that God would help me discern my feelings.
We prayed together over the weekend and called Monday morning asking for the file. What followed was 43 days of waiting to see his face. Those 43 days were painful. They were heartbreaking. I didn't know what my son looked like, but I knew he was the child we had been waiting for.
Oh, how much can change in one year! Now we're in a new season of life, filled with fighting for attachment, building love, and growing in trust. One year can hold so much. This past year has seen our family of two turn into a family of three.
I am thankful God brought Tisetso into our family. Adoption isn't rainbows and unicorns, so when you have sweet moments (like this anniversary), you hold on tight. I am excited and hopeful for what the next year will hold.