A typical teenager — doesn’t want a photo with mom.
Mother’s Day is a hard day for many. For several years, Mother’s Day was difficult because I knew we were waiting for a child who was more than likely already in the world, but still unknown to us. But to be totally honest, Mother’s Day has always been a difficult day for me since becoming a mother myself.
I am blessed beyond understanding to be the mother to two amazing kids. But I know that the road they travelled to get to our family was a difficult one. I feel like I’m walking a line here, so stick with me. I want to be honest with you—our friends and family—and I want to preserve the trust and story of our children.
When you enter a new family and—for whatever reason—birth parents have not met your needs, you are going to have trauma responses. So imagine with me, our son and daughter having a day centered around their mom (me), but it’s a lot to handle. A whole day when you are celebrating what moms are supposed to be and do for their families. That’s why I try my best to hold Mother’s Day with open hands.
I am not their first mother. I am so thankful that their first mothers chose life, because I have two beautiful children because of their choices. Not a day goes by where I am not thankful for their lives and their presence in my life, even on the hard days.
Silly faces with Phindi.
So yes, Mother’s Day is wonderful and fun, but in our family, it holds a heaviness that sometimes doesn’t have a name attached to it, but we can feel its presence. But every Mother’s Day, I hold in my heart space to be grateful for the choice of life their first mothers gave to them.
