Adoption PSA

(Note: This post is meant to be humorous and informative. If you're guilty of saying any of these, please be assured that I don't remember you specifically asking these questions and I'm not thinking of any one person while writing these.)

In our 21 months of being in the adoption process, many things have been said to me about our choice and calling to adopt. Most have been encouraging. Below are a few things that have been asked/said more than once:

1. "You're adopting? That's so great! I/My friend adopted a dog last year"

Don't get me wrong, I love dogs (a lot). I think they're super and they need to be loved. But please, please, for the love of all that is good in the world, don't compare anyone's adopting a animal to a child. It will not win you any points with your friend toiling through the adoption process. And it'll make them feel sad. Just don't.

2. "You're adopting? Can't you have children of your own?"

Ugh. First of all, this is none of your business. Second, if this were the case and reason for adopting, is this really something you want to bring up? It could be really painful for someone to talk about. Get excited for your friend. It doesn't matter why they're adopting, they need your support.

3. "What medical problems does your kid have?"

This is not your business. Do not ask this question. Just no.

4. "Is your kid going to be black?"

Does it matter to you what color my kid is going to be? They could be purple and I will still love them. I hope my friends feel the same way. All of your friends who are adopting or who have adopted feel this way.

5. "You're adopting? My friends adopted a few years ago and the kid had so many problems...(insert adoption terror story here)."

I've heard this response the most. The adoption process and adoption itself is hard for so many reasons. Hearing horror stories does not help anything. If I'm honest, I've already thought through horrible scenarios we could face. Trust me, your friend walking through adoption or the adoption process does not need horror stories. They need to hear encouragement.

All in all, if you are considering adopting, you are going to face many stupid comments. (You have been warned!) If you're not adopting, aim to be the friend saying encouraging things.

I posted the video below way back when, but this guy does a great job making you laugh while learning things. Thank you for listening to the ramblings of a crazy lady. Please go back to whatever it was you were doing before reading this post and have a great day.

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

I don't know if you've ever driven through a long tunnel, but I remember as a kid always feeling a little uneasy. It was typically as we were driving through a mountain that we encountered these tunnels. I would imagine the entire mountain caving in on us as we were driving through its belly. From the moment we entered the tunnel to the moment we left, I slackened my seatbelt so I could lean towards the middle of the car to have a clear view of what was ahead. The uneasiness would always lighten when I saw the pinhole of light coming from the end of the tunnel. That's how I feel now.

I've been walking through a bit of darkness and a little bit of feeling hopeless amidst the sea of paperwork that needs to be done. One of my (MANY) failings is that I don't finish a lot of things I start, and I was very fearful I wouldn't have the drive to finish all of this paperwork. But God being so gracious has helped me to press on. He gave me hope it could be done when I struggled to believe and a husband who encouraged me to press on.

No--the dossier is not done, but after being in the dark for some weeks, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. My soul feels lighter knowing this hurdle is almost done. In a small way, I have begun to cherish this season of our adoption because I know what comes next—waiting. 

Paper Pregnancy

On Sunday night, we finished out paperwork for the home study. It was quite the labor of love. It included things that needed notarization, lots of checking boxes, many signatures and dates, and the longest paper I have written since I left college (10 pages to be exact). I even had to get a physical for this thing—drug test and TB shot included. I am really starting to understand the term 'paper pregnancy'*. 

We had a brief scare today because when we entered our tracking number for the envelope, and it didn't show up. We thought it may have been lost. We prayed and waited. Then, as if the USPS website came back to life in an instant, our package showed that it would be delivered either today (Tuesday) or tomorrow (Wednesday). Yay!

Next up: We will schedule three interview sessions - two at the Bethany offices and one in our home. These interviews, along with the paperwork we sent in, will be the basis for our dossier. 

Prayer Requests:

• That we would be able to schedule these interviews soon and they would go smoothly.
• For my job - My hours were cut from two days down to one. This is to be expected as Office Max Naperville is closing, but still unfortunate. I'm praying the Lord will provide another job, equally as awesome as this one.

*Paper pregnancy is the term used to refer to the paperwork in the adoption process that leads to the child(ren) adopted, much like a physical pregnancy.