The Final Step Before Home

The Malcolms at Cape Town International Airport

On Monday morning, we flew from Cape Town to Johannesburg. It was hard to say goodbye as we had spent two months there. The Helderberg Basin with its mountains surrounding us and the False Bay—not to mention the countless shops, restaurants, and our church family there always in view felt like a home away from home.

Father’s Day 2022

We had a great flight from Cape Town to Johannesburg and were able to get to our new accommodations easily. We are actually in the same building as The Codfather, a favorite restaurant of ours two months ago when we were here.

Phindi with a new LEGO set.

After settling in, we got ready for a busy Tuesday. On Tuesday, we met up with a family adopting one of Phindi’s best friends (and former bunkmate) from her care home. We had breakfast with them and had them over to our flat so the girls could spend some more time playing. After hanging out with them for most of the morning and some of the afternoon, we got ready to meet Mama Debbie and her husband for dinner at Nelson Mandela Square.

Tisetso being silly in Nelson Mandela Square in 2016.

Teenage Tisetso in 2022.

Phindi at Nelson Mandela Square in 2022.

We had such a wonderful time with them at dinner. We are so thankful they wanted to spend extra time with Phindi and with the rest of us. It is so special to have these moments, especially as our time is winding down here.

Evening view from our new flat.

The biggest news is that on Wednesday, we had our visa appointment at the US Consulate. It was quite the adventure, as it was when we went with Tisetso, although much less time was spent this time.

We arrived half an hour early only to find our names weren’t on the list. Thankfully, our lawyer had emailed us the confirmation email and that seemed to suffice in getting us through the door. At security, despite Brian checking the list of prohibited items, we were stopped because of the MANY cables, thumb drives, and batteries that seemed to spring out of every pocket in Brian’s backpack (which has a lot of pockets).

After turning off and turning in our phones and electronic paraphernalia, we were allowed to go through. As with last time, it felt surreal to be on “American soil” in South Africa. We were almost put into a long line, but thankfully we were redirected at the last minute to a different window where we were seen only ten minutes later. One form and many dollars later, we raised our right hands and swore we were giving the correct information. We were told to come back on Friday after 11:00 am to collect the passport with the visa attached.

Evening view from another angle in our flat.

So as of Tuesday, June 28th, we will be flying home. We officially purchased our tickets today. It feels crazy that our time here is rapidly coming to an end. I am so thankful that this time around, homesickness has been kept at bay. Do I miss home? Sure! But it’s not an overwhelming, powerful, all-consuming feeling like it felt at times last time we were here.

We would just ask that you pray over our family as we have some good-byes to say in the next few days that are going to be hard. Phindi is especially anxious and resistant to going to America. We can’t blame her—it’s a whole new world and culture that she doesn’t know yet! We hope and pray she will come to love her new home and the people she will meet there, but for now, it’s a big scary unknown.

Thank you for keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers. We couldn’t have made this trip without your support.

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EDIT: Sorry this post wasn’t put up sooner! I thought it had been posted! Gah!

Tomorrow changes everything. Again.

Our home for the next three months.

We cannot believe that our lives will forever be changed tomorrow at 11:00 am (4:00 am CST). It’s the night before we meet our daughter. We are excited, nervous, scared, happy, pretty much everything under the sun.

Everything changes tomorrow and yet today was a relatively normal day, as far as spending time in Johannesburg / Centurion, South Africa is concerned. We got to meet up with Tisetso’s Grade R (Kindergarten) teacher, Emmylou (“Teacher Emmy”). She had a profound impact on Tisetso’s life in the short time that she was a part of it. She believed in his ability to push beyond goals that others said he would never achieve. We are forever thankful for her.

Getting to meet her, her husband, and daughter was such a treat! They met us at Bosvelder—a seemingly traditional Afrikaners lodge-style restaurant that they suggested, and It was amazing! Her husband ordered six starters (appetizers) for us and we tried new things and they were all so tasty. It was hard to pick my favorite, but I’d have to say it was tripe & totters, a seasoned stew with mashed potatoes on the side. Brian liked the tripe & totters and the lamb’s tail best. For dessert, Brian and I split peppermint crisp tart and malva pudding with custard. Needless to say, four hours later, we walked away full and were thankful for this time with these two friends from afar.

So here we sit, Tisetso in bed, getting ready to end the day ourselves. We have a bag packed by the door with stickers, paper, markers, and other fun activities to play with our children (!!). Just like Tisetso got Roy the Lion, our daughter is getting a special stuffie. “Shelly the Turtle” has made the voyage across the ocean with us and will be introduced to her new best friend tomorrow.

Please be in prayer for us. We are so excited, and hope she is too, but know there have to be a lot of nerves on both sides. We want tomorrow to go well for us, Tisetso, and our daughter.

Here we go!

This is not a drill!!

When we were in Cape Town in 2016. Look how tiny Tisetso is! Be still my heart.

After four and a half long years, we are finally writing to say that we have a court date!

On April 7, 2022, our family will grow by one and we are so excited, thrilled, and elated. We cannot believe that after waiting so long, our time has finally come.

This time around is going to look different in a several ways, but here are three:

1. We will meet with our daughter only four days before the court date. When we met Tisetso, we had two weeks before the court date, so things are a little more sped up this time around.

2. We will also be spending three months in South Africa compared to the six weeks last time.

3. We will be in South Africa during the autumn and winter months compared to the summer we experienced last time.

We have begun to finalize lists and boxes are pouring in from Amazon with things for our daughter and for travel. We are putting her room together (Harry Potter themed, of course!). We are shifting things around to make room in our home for another person!

We are so thankful that throughout our time of waiting the Lord upheld us. I (Heidi) had a particularly hard day while we were waiting and found this verse to be so encouraging:

He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm,
trusting the LORD.
Psalm 112:7

I knew that no matter what news we heard (or didn’t hear), it would not shake the foundations of God’s hold on my heart or of His creation. My heart was firm because I was trusting the Lord.

We are also thankful for each of you. We’ve had so many friends and family members praying for us and encouraging us these past years as we walked this much longer than expected path. We know life is meant to be lived in community and we are so thankful for ours.

Our Adoption Packing List

Calling all parents and people with opinions (that means everyone):

I've started packing T's bag, but need help. His clothes and shoes are covered, but I need help deciding what is necessary/helpful in the "keep this child entertained in a hotel room for 6 to 7 weeks" department. Below is a picture and list of things I'm considering. Am I missing anything? Is there something you feel is unnecessary? Did you have a favorite toy on vacations when you were a kid that we should consider? Please comment below. I want to make sure we've got all of our bases covered for maximum entertainment, but not maximum weight (we do have to ship this to South Africa)!

Our adoption packing list for the South Africa stay. We're looking to keep this kid entertained!

1. Over the door toy organizer (kinda like this one)
2. Educational books and puzzle
3. Animal puzzles
4. Fidget toy (found here)
5. Magformers (found here)
6. Pool float toy (we don't know if he can swim, so this seems helpful)
7. Toiletries and First Aid items: first aid kit, thermometer, lotion, body wash, toothbrush and toothpaste)
8. Coloring books and crayon holder
9. A couple of Lego creator sets
10. Water bottle
11. Osmo set (super awesome, educational games for the iPad)
12. A Lacing Lion (found here)
13. A few books (I'm thinking about adding a few more as I don't want to read these four books for 6-7 weeks).
14. Travel Games (Memory and Trouble)
15. Headphones
16. Lots of stickers (they're light!) and a blank bound book for creation and a fun memento of our time in South Africa
17. Bag of Matchbox Cars and safari animals

Good News!

There are many ways an adoption is like a pregnancy. You announce you're adopting, at some point you can announce the gender, and at the end of it all, you bring a kid home. One glaring way adoption is different than pregnancy is the millions of steps you take to get to the end. I am so thankful for the army of people on the other end of this blog who pray for us and encourage us. You are so valuable to us!

I'm sure you're wondering what the good news is at this point. We've received our approval from the US Dept. of Homeland Security/Immigration. What that means is that the agency in South Africa can now begin pursuing a court date. Once they have a court date, we will get notice to travel. We are getting close!! It was a miracle we got it so soon. It's only been two weeks and we were told it would be at least a month.

We are hoping and praying to bring T home before Christmas. It would be so sweet to have that season together as a family of three. In the meantime, we're preparing and working hard to get ready to bring T home. I hope this kid likes Legos! Good thing they're light! We can take some to South Africa with us.

Clothes and a Lion Named Roy

Because we have a little less than 3-4 months before heading over to South Africa (if the courts approve our referral), we've started getting ready to welcome T* home. One of the main things we've been able to get for T have been clothes. We've been buying a ton of the summer items that are on clearance now because, when we head over, it will be summer in South Africa. Talk about feeling sorry for this kid...he's leaving summer and being dropped right into the middle of our winter when we return.

I surprised Brian with a sweet t-shirt I found for T. Target had a series of band t-shirts. I was going to wait to give it to Brian until the day we signed the paperwork for T, but I couldn't wait. I'm pretty sure this kid is going to be STYLIN'!

Along with clothing this kid, we've started making our registries for our adoption shower. We even found an awesome stuffed animal we will give T when we meet him for the first time. A lot of attachment resources recommend giving the child a stuffed animal for them to have during the crazy time in their life when they are leaving one life behind and starting a new one. T's favorite animals are lions and horses, so that's where we started. We found this sweet guy on Amazon and are excited to give it to T (we also bought a back up). We're calling him Roy until T has a chance to name him.

Definitely subscribe to the blog if you don't want to miss anything. We are so blessed to have so many people who are asking about T and what's next, so we don't want to miss anyone. We're excited to keep you updated as we have more info.

*Legal name withheld until he is legally our son.