Tomorrow changes everything. Again.

Our home for the next three months.

We cannot believe that our lives will forever be changed tomorrow at 11:00 am (4:00 am CST). It’s the night before we meet our daughter. We are excited, nervous, scared, happy, pretty much everything under the sun.

Everything changes tomorrow and yet today was a relatively normal day, as far as spending time in Johannesburg / Centurion, South Africa is concerned. We got to meet up with Tisetso’s Grade R (Kindergarten) teacher, Emmylou (“Teacher Emmy”). She had a profound impact on Tisetso’s life in the short time that she was a part of it. She believed in his ability to push beyond goals that others said he would never achieve. We are forever thankful for her.

Getting to meet her, her husband, and daughter was such a treat! They met us at Bosvelder—a seemingly traditional Afrikaners lodge-style restaurant that they suggested, and It was amazing! Her husband ordered six starters (appetizers) for us and we tried new things and they were all so tasty. It was hard to pick my favorite, but I’d have to say it was tripe & totters, a seasoned stew with mashed potatoes on the side. Brian liked the tripe & totters and the lamb’s tail best. For dessert, Brian and I split peppermint crisp tart and malva pudding with custard. Needless to say, four hours later, we walked away full and were thankful for this time with these two friends from afar.

So here we sit, Tisetso in bed, getting ready to end the day ourselves. We have a bag packed by the door with stickers, paper, markers, and other fun activities to play with our children (!!). Just like Tisetso got Roy the Lion, our daughter is getting a special stuffie. “Shelly the Turtle” has made the voyage across the ocean with us and will be introduced to her new best friend tomorrow.

Please be in prayer for us. We are so excited, and hope she is too, but know there have to be a lot of nerves on both sides. We want tomorrow to go well for us, Tisetso, and our daughter.

Here we go!

Another day, another pothole

View of Sandton in the distance and Johannesburg even further in the distance

Today was a long, emotional day. We woke up early and hit the road, headed to Centurion to visit the Haven, where Tisetso lived before we met him. For the sake of his privacy and it being his story to share, we won’t include much, but there were a couple things that we would love to share.

THE famous tuck shop

For many years, we’ve heard about this tuck shop and how Tisetso would be allowed to go buy sweets (according to the aunties this happened every Friday). We were finally able to come to the shop and, with the help of one of the aunties, bought thirty candy bars for the kids currently living there. Tisetso delivered these to the kids and was very popular with everyone (as if he wasn’t already).

Our Kindergarten graduate!

Another bonus for today was that we got more photos and documents and art from Tisetso’s younger years. It was such a sweet blessing to see his little hand and foot prints and compare them to how big they are today. He has certainly grown! We loved getting to hear stories from the aunties who cared for him and seeing him remember so many new things he had forgotten.

There were probably 50 taxis all lined up along the side of this road.

Driving around provided much to enjoy. We had a couple of interactions with our favorite taxis (see this post for more information from our last trip). We also encountered a military base that we had to drive through that made Brian and I both very nervous, both for ourselves and our car, ‘QuestLove.’ One speed bump was so high that we briefly bottomed out. Not fun!

Huh? ⬅️ ➡️ ⬆️

We encountered many signs that made near to no sense to us. These intersection signs always leave us scratching our heads.

Advertise here

There are a TON of advertisements as you drive along the road, but what’s interesting is how people advertise. Many people use these trailers, so you see random trailers on the side of the road.

KFC

In true Tisetso fashion, he wanted KFC for lunch. I noticed they had a hand washing station in the dining area, which I thought was pretty brilliant. Where else do you get your hands so messy as fried chicken? (Ok, I know ribs are up there, but work with me.) I also love the Colonel Sanders tie on the mirror. Presh.

After lunch and a coffee trip, we headed back to the flat to pick up and get ready to meet with the woman who runs the care home our daughter lives in. We were so thankful to meet with her today as she provided such wonderful insight and shared stories about our daughter. She loves crafts and is caring to others, cannot wait to see the ocean, and loves the color pink. 💗

We cannot begin to express how wonderful it was to meet with this woman who has spent such time loving her as she has done. Now we wait for Sunday!

Brian, his dinner, and my arm (Photo cred: Tisetso)

After our meeting, we walked across the street to a restaurant called The Codfather. It was delicious. I got Cape kingklip (a fish local to the Western Cape area), Tisetso got “sticky bbq pork ribs” (big surprise there), and Brian got the paella for two (and brought one serving home).

Cape Gooseberry

Tisetso also got a fruit salad, which was beautiful! In it were these little yellow berries. I was the brave one that tried them first. They tasted like a mix between a somewhat sour berry and had the aftertaste of a tomato. It wasn’t my cup of tea, but Brian tried one as well. We asked our server what they were and she asked the chef. She came back with the answer—gooseberries! I did a little googling and found out that, more specifically, they are Cape gooseberries. Fun!

We are now back safely and wondering (again) when we can go to bed. Brian and Tisetso didn’t sleep well again last night. Hopefully they will sleep just as well as I’ve slept the past two nights.

Links for All of the Days We Were in South Africa

If for some crazy reason you find yourself wanting to read all of the days in order (bless you), here are all of the days, linked up for your convenience. Thanks for reading our story!

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Day 1: Pretoria

Day 2: Pretoria

Day 3: Pretoria

Day 4: Pretoria

Day 5: Pretoria

Day 6: Pretoria

Day 7: Pretoria

Day 8: Pretoria

Day 9: Centurion

Day 10: Centurion

Day 11: Centurion

Day 12: Centurion

Day 13: Centurion

Day 14: Centurion

Day 15: Centurion

Day 16: Centurion and Atteridgeville

Day 17: Centurion

Day 18: Centurion and Strand

Day 19: Strand

Day 20: Strand

Day 21: Strand

Day 22: Strand and Cape Town

Day 23: Strand and Simon's Town

Day 24: Strand

Day 25: Strand

Day 26: Strand

Day 27: Strand

Day 28: Strand and Cape Town

Day 29: Strand and Khayelitsha

Day 30: Strand

Day 31: Strand and Cape Town

Day 32: Strand and Cape Town

Day 33: Strand and Cape Town

Day 34: Strand and Simon's Town

Day 35: Strand and Cape Town

Day 36: Strand and Cape Town

Day 37: Strand

Day 38: Strand and Khayelitsha

Day 39: Strand and Stellenbosch

Day 40: Strand, Cape Town, and Somerset West

Day 41: Strand, Cape Town, Johannesburg, and Sandton

Day 42: Sandton

Day 43: Sandton, Pretoria, and Centurion

Day 44: Sandton

Day 45: Sandton

Day 46: Sandton

Day 47: Sandton and Johannesburg

Day 48: Sandton, Pretoria, and Johannesburg

Day 49: London, Chicago, and Home

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You can find a summary of our Time in South Africa here, and a post about our pre-South Africa adventure in London here.

Summary of Our Time in South Africa

It was the biggest, most impactful trip I've ever taken in my life. I have been collecting random thoughts, observations, and photos from our time in South Africa, some while we were there and others after we got home. Some are meaningful and some are superficial.

I loved the road signs in South Africa.

Speed cameras were everywhere! Note: It's not 120 mph, but kph. Sadly.

Drivers were more considerate in South Africa than America. The drivers are less selfish and more willing to drive with kindness. On the highway, if you're not going the speed limit, you would drive in the left lane (slow lane). Merging on the highway was not an issue because people would let someone in without anger, unlike what you find here.

More in Gauteng than Cape Town, we found Bidvest was EVERYWHERE! They did car rentals, banking, staffing, apparently baking (see photo), and even toilet paper supplies. Brian and I decided if Bidvest ever went under, the whole country would stop working properly.

Malls are on every corner! For every mall that closes its doors here in America, one is reborn in South Africa. They are huge, confusing, and packed with people. In fact, the Mall of Africa (a mall we drove by on numerous occasions while there) recently opened.

These sounded so gross, I almost lost it.

I died laughing in the check out line when I saw this. I showed Brian and he suggested throwing it in the pool. From that point on, I was tearing up from trying not to laugh out loud in the line. If you're wondering, I bought it and it was tasty.

Shoes aren't as big of a necessity in South Africa. In America, we have signs warding off people without shoes from shopping in stores. In South Africa, it's not uncommon to see people without shoes (mostly children).

I really liked the license plates. I only got photos of these two, but there were many kinds.

Driving on the left takes about three weeks to get used to. Even then, you’ll still have terrifying moments when you think you’re about to die in a fiery car crash.

I was trying to take a photo of this terrifying road sign, but also managed to capture a speeding taxi in our rearview mirror.

Taxis (12-passenger vans) are devil machines that do not adhere to the laws. They’re so pervasive that not even police mess with them. I decided that if we lived in South Africa, I would purchase one of those vehicles so I wouldn’t have to follow the rules of the road.

Almost every house has a gate around it with either an electric fence (pictured) or barbed wire. Security is definitely an issue for home owners.

There are people everywhere. Living in America, where you can look out your front window and not see anyone walk by for a good bit, is so contrary to South Africa. People are walking everywhere, even on the side of the highway.

Diet Coke (the best beverage on the face of the planet) is called Coke Light, in case you're wondering. It was hard to remember at first, then hard to switch back when we came home.

Common things to see in homes are the electric meter (you pay in advance for electricity and purchase more at local stores) and water heater information. Water heaters are typically on the roof to utilize the sun's helpful rays.

Sizing of food was a bit different (smaller) in South Africa. The tic tac box on the left is from America and the one on the right is from South Africa. 

ATMs are everywhere! There were whole sections of every mall with walls and walls of ATMs. We used mostly cash while we were there, but it seemed to be a common thing for many of the people, too. 

There were way too many people in this truck. Eek!

I definitely take the internet here for granted. It took so long to upload photos and, at times, was impossible. I missed listening to music because I hadn’t thought ahead and downloaded some before traveling. Most of the time you have to purchase internet as you go, which got to be a little frustrating. I spent two months of my life without Netflix and survived. Barely. I should get a badge of bravery or something.

It was clear, through our conversations with South Africans and through observation, that there aren’t enough jobs for people in the country. It was heartbreaking to see mothers, with their children strapped on their backs, begging for money and food on street corners each day. It is something we are not faced with seeing every day. In South Africa, it is part of life.

People would be walking these huge carts on the side of the road/highway. It broke my heart because I am guessing with the amount of work put into filling and transporting the carts, it wasn't a lot of payback.

South Africa is such a huge country! We stayed in two provinces while we were there. Even within the two provinces, it was clear that there were many cultures (some of which were combinations of others) and languages represented in the country. 

A walkway bridge made out of scaffolding. Eeek!!!

It is such a beautiful and interesting place to visit. I would highly recommend adding it to your lists of countries to visit! We loved our time there experiencing the culture and scenery. There is truly no place on earth like South Africa. We are thankful for the time we spent there as it was an amazing time, where our only job was to be a family. Because of the experiences we had and friendships we made, we feel like a little piece of our heart was left there.

If I had to sum up our trip, here’s how it would go:

8 weeks,
8 hotels/apartments,
6 cities,
6 flights,
6 suitcases,
5 cars,
3 traffic stops,
2 stamps in our passports,
all to meet 1 amazing son…
…and we’d do it again in a heartbeat for him!

South Africa: Day 43, Sandton, Pretoria, and Centurion

Wednesday, February 17

Because Brian had been unable to get much work done yesterday, he needed to be able to get a lot accomplished today. To help with that, I planned to take Tisetso to the mall to give Brian some quiet time. I was also hoping it would be good for Tisetso and I to spend quality time together. The past week has been super hard with him and I. He has been acting out towards me and being unkind, so I wanted to have time with just us.

We saw an i8 while driving to the mall! 

We headed to the mall and got a killer spot, which was nice. I grabbed a trolley (shopping cart) from a nearby spot and put Tisetso in. He loves riding in ("driving") the trolleys, so it’s bonus points to get one without him asking. Our first stop was to get him a baked treat of his choice from the Doppio Zero bakery. He chose a gingerbread man cookie. He didn’t want to eat the cookie because he wanted to show daddy. I asked if it would work for me to just take a picture and send it to him. It worked and he got to work on the cookie.

Our mall stop included Woolworths to pick up sweeties for the kids at the care home and a stationery store to get letters printed up for the US visa and border control officers. While at the stationery store, we waited quite a while. The employees seemed to be frantically working on a huge project and our four sheet print job fell low on the priority list. Tisetso was feeling antsy and, truth be told, so was I. We had had a good morning up to this point and I certainly didn’t want this to be the thing to turn the tide. Thankfully, after 30 minutes of hang ups, they managed to figure everything out and we were able to leave with our documents in hand. 

After walking around the mall and grabbing an Americano for Brian, we headed home. After an easy lunch of sandwiches, Tisetso and I played Batman and Joker. With our kid significantly more tired than before, we sat down to do a quick session of school. Tisetso wasn’t really wanting to write, so I had him pick the words he would write. He decided on: Batman, Hulk Smash, Harry Potter, hero, and, for good measure, I added Tisetso to the list.

With school out of the way for the day, we got ready to head to the care home for Tisetso to say goodbye. We had sweeties in tow and Tisetso had his bow tie on. Pulling up to the Haven felt a little like a dream. We hadn’t been there in a while and so much had happened since our last visit. Tisetso was so excited he practically jumped out of the car before we had fully stopped. He ran up to the door and waited to be let in. 

Tisetso was so glad to see his friends. Most of his friends (the older kids) had recently come home from school and were in the process of doing homework and were glad for Tisetso to be their distraction. He sat at the table and at lunch with them and talked to them as they did their work. It was as if he had never been gone. My momma heart loved seeing him surrounded by his family. It was hard, too, because this was what he was leaving behind. These wonderful aunties and sweet children had made up his life for seven years. We would soon be leaving it. I was overwhelmed for Tisetso.

Brian and I, not wishing to be hanging over him as he hung out with his friends, excused ourselves and went to the living room. We talked with some of the aunties and gave them updates about the past month. They all commented on how he had grown and how his accent was beginning to mirror ours. We would occasionally check on Tisetso to see how he was doing. At one point, he was off playing with one of the older girls who had been there for a long time, like he had. It was such a sweet moment, Brian and I both snuck pictures.

After a while, we wondered where Tisetso was. We hadn’t seen him in a while, so I went looking for him. I checked outside, in the TV room downstairs, and in the classroom. Still not finding him, I went upstairs. Tisetso was sitting alone in the TV room watching a show by himself. My heart broke for him in that moment. He was clearly overwhelmed at saying goodbye. He needed to retreat and that’s where I found him.

This is the hard, painful side of adoption. No matter the situation where your child comes from, they are leaving something behind. We are massively blessed that Tisetso came from such a wonderful, loving home, but in that moment, I could tell Tisetso was done saying goodbye to his brothers and sisters. I sat with him a few minutes and then let him know it was time to go, but we needed to take a picture with his brothers and sisters first. He was not excited about the prospect, but I knew he will appreciate the picture later.

Wrangling the kids and Tisetso proved to be fun. Auntie Yolanda was up for the challenge. After getting them all on a couch, chaos ensued. We never actually got a picture with all of the kids looking at the camera, but that perfectly summed up life there. I love the pictures we got. I can’t post it because it shows the faces of children who are not mine, but rest assured, these kids would steal your heart with their smiles.

Love <3

During the photo, it began to storm in a major way. As we walked out of the Haven, there we got drenched. To add to the rain water coming from the sky, Tisetso decided to walk under a downspout, which was fun for him… I had been texting with Auntie Alma because she was unable to make it to the Haven for our goodbyes. We asked Tisetso if he felt up to one more goodbye. Tisetso was good to go, as he hadn't ever been to Auntie Alma's house.

We headed to Auntie Alma’s house to say goodbye to her. She and her three daughters have known Tisetso for the last five or six years. At their home, the girls occupied Tisetso (seeing pets in the back yard, playing drums and a guitar in the basement, etc.) while Alma shared stories and wisdom she had gleaned from knowing Tisetso for so long. It was great. There’s one story in particular that I look forward to reminding Tisetso of when he’s older. 

After enjoying their company for a little while, we made our exit to take Tisetso to his favorite restaurant—KFC. I hoped and prayed it would be the last time we went to that restaurant for a good long time! With our bellies filled with greasy fried chicken, we made our way back to the flat (through more of that wonderful traffic).

Our evening was as low key as we could make it. We got home with only a short while before Tisetso went to bed, which was good for all of us.

South Africa: Day 18, Centurion & Strand

We started today by finishing up our packing. Our flight to Cape Town took off at 1:45 p.m, so we had plenty of time to get ready. The real challenge was going to be fitting our three duffels, two carry on suitcases, three backpacks, and one kid into our car. Thankfully, after much maneuvering on Brian’s part, we were able to get everything to fit.

Our ride to the airport was uneventful, thankfully. We were able to turn in our car with little hassle and got to the airport. We had our bags wrapped with a plastic akin to saran wrap to make sure they wouldn’t be messed with. It was entertaining to watch and helpful. We checked into our flight. Because our luggage is earmarked for international travel and not the domestic flight we took, I was worried we would have to pay a lot to get our luggage on the plane. Thankfully, Mango does weight a little differently. We were allotted 60kg (20kg for each bag), but our bags weighed around 75kg total, with each bag being slightly over. Instead of having to pay a fee for each bag, we paid only for the 15kg we were over. 

At security, they confiscated my needlenose pliers (which I use for cross stitch). I went through the TSA and British security with no incident, and the South African airport even allows liquids! We sat around for a little bit before grabbing a quick lunch at a cafe, getting through security about two hours before our flight boarded. That was a nice time buffer to have. Thankfully, traveling with Tisetso was relatively uneventful. Aside from him not wanting to move quickly when we needed him to (to and from the bathroom just before the flight), we were alright.

Tisetso loved looking out the window when we were getting ready to land.

This was Tisetso’s third time being on a plane. Thanks to Mommy Tahiyya, who takes her kids on holiday, he had been to Cape Town before! The other thing that made the trip easy was our big gift to him. He got his very own iPad. He was excited to check out the Harry Potter Lego app, but sadly, I think he’ll need a year or two before being able to do that one. He watched Batman, Ben Ten, and Jake and the Neverland Pirates on the plane.  

Getting some tips from Brian.

It was cool to see the different terrains of South Africa. Our flight only took an hour and 45 minutes, but we still covered a lot of land. Tisetso helped us land safely by pressing the right buttons (his table switch). Phew! The landscape was very different than what we had left behind. Now, instead of large rolling hills, there were huge mountains by the ocean. This is my happy place!

Tisetso takes on Cape Town!

After having to navigate our luggage carts down a tunnel and then back up the other side, I was ready for air conditioning! We picked up our car and were ready to go! The only issue Brian ran into was the turning signal was on the wrong side of the wheel. Every time he went to turn, he accidentally hit the windshield wipers. He'll probably have it figured out just in time to leave.

We made it safely to the flat that we are renting for the first 9 days we are here. It’s in Strand (on Strand Beach), which is just east of Cape Town. The flat is perfect! There’s a room for Tisetso, for us, and even an office for Brian. We have our windows open all of the time. There’s always a breeze and the sound of the waves and the smell of the salt water! I absolutely love this flat.

The gorgeous view from our balcony

We went to a restaurant on the floor level of the building for dinner. There are a few cafes and shops there as well. We enjoyed a great view of the beach activity and had a breather after a full day. Tomorrow is Sunday and church. It’ll be interesting to see how Tisetso responds this week.

South Africa: Day 17, Centurion

In the morning, we went to the coffee shop with Brian. I didn’t bring anything with me because Tisetso said he wanted to do school. What he really meant was he didn’t want to do school and wanted to color. Thus I sat around for two hours entertaining myself with CandyCrush. (Insert eye roll here.)

I love how he uses stickers to add to every picture he colors. He's super creative.

Using his Lacing Lion's mane to give himself a beard.

After attempting to do school (getting him to write anything), we headed to Tisetso’s old primary school. Tahiyya had secured a meeting time with Tisetso’s teacher from last year (Grade R / Kindergarten), "Teacher Emmylou". When we arrived, it was a sea of cars, children, and waiting parents. Tisetso showed us the way to his classroom. Because Emmylou was still dismissing the children, Tisetso played on the playground with some of his school friends and Brian and I talked with Tahiyya. When all of the kids had been released, save for one boy who’s dad was running late, we pulled up some chairs and talked for a good while about Tisetso and his time in Emmylou’s classroom. (Tisetso played outside with the boy, who happened to be in his class last year.)

One thing that has been overwhelmingly clear from the beginning is that God has placed people in Tisetso’s life over and over again who have fought for him. Teacher Emmylou was no exception. There was a woman who came to the school to offer occupational therapy for kids and Tisetso was assessed by her. She told Teacher Emmylou Tisetso would never advance past where he was at that time. She didn’t believe he would ever be able to write or grow developmentally. Teacher Emmylou told her she was wrong and believed he would meet the expectations put before him. Over the course of the year, Tisetso was able to write, color, and do anything else another kindergartner should be able to do. That woman was proved wrong because of the determination and persistence of Teacher Emmylou.

One thing you have to know about Tisetso is that he doesn’t give his trust easily. Brian and I are working every day to gain his trust. Teacher Emmylou had to do the same thing, she just had less time in which to gain that trust. Her love for her students was very evident as she spoke about her job and working with Tisetso to help him. We are so thankful for her and the way she worked hard to help Tisetso learn.

When we were done talking with Emmylou, we headed outside to find Tisetso and his friend using wheelbarrows to transport dirt from one side of the playground to the other. Before we left, we snapped a quick picture with Tisetso, his friend, their wheelbarrows, and Teacher Emmylou. 

Teacher Emmylou

In need of lunch, we stopped at KFC on our way to a bird garden. While I was waiting for Tisetso and Brian to bring the food over, a women who worked at KFC asked me if Tisetso was my son. When I told her yes, she asked if he was adopted. She then told me how fortunate he was. I was curious why she said that, so I asked. She said that there are few opportunities in South Africa and she knew there were more in America. She told me she has a son with disabilities and she was not hopeful for his future. Moments like this are hard. On the one hand, I hope Tisetso does have a brighter future because of this adoption. On the other hand, he is losing a lot—particularly his culture. We will work hard to make sure he understands and remembers as much as possible, but there is a loss.

When we arrived at the bird gardens, we had no idea what to expect. It was incredible! We enjoyed every minute (well, Brian and I). Tisetso had other feelings of skepticism concerning the thickness of the glass, structural integrity of the cages, roaming birds, and whether the birds and animals could get to him. This place was so opposite of America. I could have pet a lemur if I wanted to (and probably lost a finger in the process). There was one enclosure you could walk through and see some birds flying around from tree to tree. When we were walking around the enclosure, we heard this terrifying noise. It sounded like a mixture of growling, screaming, and laughing. It ended up being this very aggressive looking monkey hopping around within the enclosure people were walking in. I was convinced we were going to see people get their faces ripped off. Brian began filming for evidence. We later found a door to this enclosure in which the warning that there were “roaming lemurs” inside. No joke!

I got to feed birds!

Waving to the meerkats.

I loved this place. My nature ADD was off the chart here. I would really like to go again when we head back to Johannesburg for our embassy interview. At the end, we had about 30 minutes before closing. We found a little cafe with an awesome playground for Tisetso to play on. The whole experience cost around $5 and was totally worth it!

Tisetso did not like that the bird was BEHIND him. I told him I would not let the bird get him.

I was finally able to get this picture, but he's still unsure of the whole situation.

I enjoyed Tisetso sharing with me what a Hadeeda was (a larger bird that sounds like a shrieking child). I’ve been woken up by these blasted birds just about every morning in the guest house. It’s always fun when Tisetso shares with us something that is foreign to us, but common for him. It is one of the reasons we chose South Africa when we decided to adopt—we wanted to experience our child’s culture with him.

After a fun day, we headed back to the guest house. No day was complete without watching Harry Potter, which we did for the fifth time!

Riding the knight like Ron in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

South Africa: Day 16, Centurion and Atteridgeville

Us, our handsome boy, and Roy.

We are now a family of three! This morning went so quickly. It hardly felt like the culmination of the work for a little over two years, but it was! We got to the court and waited for about 30 minutes (we were there early). At a little past 10:00, the presiding officer ushered us into her office. We sat at a round table: the social workers, Mommy Tahiyya (Tisetso’s favorite caregiver and foster mother for the past several years), our lawyer, the court clerks, and us. 

While waiting for the court to start, Tisetso did some practicing.

Some paperwork was signed and the office asked us questions along the lines of “Would you like to proceed with the adoption?” and “Have you tried a local worm dish?” You know, the usual. Then out of no where, she started reading the ruling that our adoption was finalized. Tisetso was now Tisetso Malcolm, with all of the rights that come with that. He now had approval to leave the Republic of South Africa to travel to the United States of America with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Malcolm.

It was at this point that I grabbed Brian’s hand and had to hold back tears. Mommy Tahiyya (as she will forever be known as in our family) and Brian and I had a moment of mutual thanksgiving. A boy we love very much was no longer a kid in the child welfare system. He was Tisetso Malcolm.

First Malcolm family picture with the three of us.

Mommy Tahiyya (center) has been instrumental in raising our son. She is an incredible woman who loves the many children in her care.

After court was a whirlwind of photos and information. We found out our case was the first international adoption in the Atteridgeville court! Tisetso had enough of the photos around three, but it just kept going. When we finally managed to sneak away, we loaded back into the car and headed to our guest house. Tisetso wanted pizza for lunch. Seeing an opportunity, I asked Brian to take Tisetso for an outing to get pizza (Tisetso’s choice for his special day lunch). Alone time for the first time since before London. My heart felt refreshed! Unfortunately for Brian, the first two places he stopped didn’t work out and he had to try a third place! (It was fine by me as I got an hour of quiet.)

Rose (left) and Brad (right) who have helped our case along here in South Africa. They will be working on our case for the next year to year and a half!

After a lunch of pizza, Brian and Tisetso swam in the pool. I “helped” by staying out of the freezing water and keeping the super sweet dog away from Tisetso. When Tisetso was tired of swimming, we did a quick shower and headed out to his party. We stopped quickly for gas and to pick up ice cream, then were back on the road.

The care home where Tisetso has spent the past six years was in full swing. The kids were excited about their bubbles and made quick work of using up all of the solution (some by blowing bubbles, others by dumping it onto the ground and/or drinking some). After bubbles, Tisetso brought the two garbage bags of balloons I had blown up out to the backyard. Chaos ensued. Some balloons were played with and some were promptly popped. After balloons, Brian and I snuck away to buy too many pizzas. Tisetso can eat three slices, no problem, so I counted for each kid to eat at least two pieces, maybe three. We still had eight pizzas left over when the kids were done! We also brought cream soda (Tisetso’s favorite) and ice cream. The kids were properly sugared up! 

Tisetso spent a little time with his friends after dinner, but after a while he was ready to go. He didn’t want to say goodbye to anyone, but we asked him to say goodbye to one of the "Aunties" who has been there with him from the beginning. We will spend a month in Cape Town before returning to the Johannesburg / Pretoria area. We plan on going back to the care home to have a final goodbye, but this one felt final in a way. Tisetso will never sleep in that home again. He will not play with all of the brothers and sisters he has grown up with for the next month. As much as he can, I see him processing this information and my heart breaks for him. Yes, adoption is good, but it’s also painful. This is the painful part.

Please pray for our little family. We want to grow to love each other more and to serve each other well. We want to be the best parents for Tisetso possible. We want to lead our son in truth and love. Today was a big day for our family, and we are excited for what the future holds.

South Africa: Day 15, Centurion

Today was the hardest day. We started off the day with T not speaking to us for an hour. After he finally talked, I excused myself and had a cry in the bathroom. Adoption is hard work—emotionally and physically. It is good, but hard. The morning left me feeling spent the rest of the day, which was hard to push through.

We spent the rest of the day taking it easy. Our lawyer here in South Africa (Brad) and social worker (Rose) met us at the guest house for lunch. They walked us through what we could expect and logistics of what the rest of our time in South Africa would look like. It was good to finally meet with them. We’ve talked with Rose quite a bit leading up to this and knew Brad was working hard on our case. Their passion to care for children was evident from the beginning. They loved on T and he ate every minute of it up. Brad even taught T how to play rock, paper, scissors.

We finally got T to pet the dog! We had to bribe him R2 (10 cents).

After they left, we headed to a giant mall as we had a big list of things to get for court (a button-down shirt for Brian) and supplies for T’s celebration party tomorrow evening. We ended up eating dinner at the mall and heading home a few hours later.

When we got back, we settled in, watched some Batman, and hit the hay! As I watched T sleeping in the weirdest position ever, I decided I would go through today again, because it meant we were a family. Family is messy, no matter how it is created. Today was hard and there will be other hard days. But even in the midst of those days, there are moments of love and joy that make working through the difficult days worth every minute.

Laying across the bed with his legs off the side, while holding onto his pillow for safety.

It is a big day tomorrow. Court is at 10:00 am and should take around an hour (if all goes well). We hope it goes smoothly and come out as a family of three at the end!

South Africa: Day 14, Centurion

Today was sometimes good and sometimes rough. It included many awesome T smiles (they light up the room) and four, for lack of a better word, shut downs. The shut downs are when T refuses to talk with us or look at us or acknowledge our existence. They are stressful, difficult, and frustrating.

When we got up, we presented T with three options. We could go to the lion park, the elephant park, or the Cradle of Humankind (caves, fossils, etc.). He didn’t want any. After about 20 minutes of talking with him, he chose the caves. Right after that he shut down. We spent the next bit trying to get him to talk with us again. After he opened back up, we packed him up for the day and headed to a local coffee shop.

When we pulled up, T didn’t want to go to the coffee shop. Brian offered to run in and get his coffee, then we could leave. Then T wanted to go in. (We see this a lot. He changes his mind every five seconds.) Inside, T and I ordered a hot chocolate (T wanted his with some coffee) and Brian got an Americano. We all pulled up to the bar and got to working. Brian had actual work to do, while T and I colored (I was forced to draw animals, God help us) and T applied stickers and drew background scenes. T’s hot chocolate showed up with a dog drawn into the foam! It was really cool and he seemed to enjoy it. After we were done at the coffee shop, we packed up and headed to the Cradle of Humankind. We were a little vague with T as we didn’t want him to shut down again. 

I was forced to draw animals. T would embellish.

It was so nice to get out of the city and into the countryside. Our drive was about an hour total, so we saw a lot of really neat things along the way and a bit more to the other side of South Africa. During our drive we drove by two towns comprised completely of shanties. These homes were made of metal sides and maybe a metal roof, otherwise a tarp roof. Each one was no more than 6’x6’. When we drove past again at night, there were few lights as the homes do not have electricity.

These huts were as far as the eye could see!

After passing those towns, we were stopped by a traffic officer who was on the side of the road waving cars over for random checks. It was an unwelcome stop as we didn’t know what awaited. The officer started by asking for Brian’s license. Brian handed over his international driver’s permit and his Illinois driver’s license. Then the cop asked Brian who T was and why he was with us. After explaining we were adopting him and it would be finalized Thursday, the cop told us he would have to fine us 1,000 Rand ($50) for not having some sort of government document for driving. We had been told we only needed a valid US license (and that the international permit was just a bonus). He insisted we had to get this document from an office in Pretoria and he would have to fine us. When Brian said that would be okay and to please give us the bill and that we would mail in the payment, the cop changed his tune and said he would let us off today. He then asked us for water (we had none for him) and let us go on our way. 

We called our social worker in Cape Town and asked about this special document he said we needed. She said he was a crooked cop and he must have been hoping to pocket the R1,000. Thankfully, Brian responded correctly by asking for the ticket.

After that fun, we headed to the Cradle of Humankind. It is a worldwide heritage site, so we wanted to check it out. We bought the tickets and headed inside. After a quick lunch with a gorgeous view, we started the tour of the museum. It started with a boat ride. Unfortunately, it was the scariest boat ride I had ever been on and T agreed. By the second turn, T was crying and frantically clinging to Brian. I wanted the blasted ride to end, too, but now I’m a parent and I’m not allowed to cry and cling to Brian. At the end of the ride, my heart was pounding. The guy at the ticket counter said we would be in the museum for about an hour. For the Malcolm family, it ended up being about 20 minutes (10 for the terrifying boat ride, 5 for running through the museum, and 5 for a bathroom stop). 

At least when they dump you miles from your car you have a nice view.

After trekking back to our car (because the museum goes straight back and dumps you miles from your car), we stopped just before getting in to ask about a huge, white mountain you could see in the distance. The car attendant told us it wasn’t a mountain, but the leftovers of a gold mine that stopped ten years ago. 

Old gold mine.

Our ride back to the guest house was less eventful, thankfully. We got back and T rode around on his crocodile in the pool with me while Brian sat in the dining room and was able to watch us and talk with us while working. After an hour or so of swimming and down time, we packed up and headed to Carnivore.

When Brian and I had to get our vaccines for this trip, we had to include typhoid because we are “adventurous eaters” (a qualifier for the CDC to get that vaccine). Carnivore is akin to a Brazilian steak house, but instead of salted beef, they bring around exotic (to us) meats. We ate impala, blesbok, crocodile, and kudu. My personal favorites were the springbok samosas and zebra. I could have done without the crocodile.

Our ride back was later than we’ve gone before. I was a little terrified, but Brian got us back safely. It was actually neat to see Johannesburg in lights. After a huge meal, we all slept well.

South Africa: Day 13, Centurion

We started the day off with breakfast at our guest house (bed and breakfast). Brian had to get some work done, so he headed off to a coffee shop for the morning. T and I played with Legos (I mainly built prisons for criminals using our Magnatiles and broke them out for entertainment). We walked around the house and counted lizards, snails, and caterpillars and found a massive ant colony under a garden gnome. After we had expended all the yard had to offer, we spent about an hour throwing the inflatable crocodile around and then slashing it to move to the other side of the pool. It was a pretty great morning.

Throwing the crocodile.

Waiting for the crocodile to float back.

I'm stuffing this dog into my carry-on as my souvenir.

After the fun had been squeezed out of the crocodile throwing, we headed back to our room. Brian was on his way back and T did not want to do anything but watch a show. I didn’t see any harm in that as we had not watched TV all day. When Brian got home and told T we were going to a place for lunch, T shut down. As we deduced later, we think the shut down was in part because he didn’t get to pick the restaurant and also because he didn’t get to finish the show. If our theory is correct or not, it didn’t change the result. We were talking to a child who wouldn’t listen. We eventually got him outside (after I carried him as far as I could without him squirming out of my arms) and into the car. Once in the car, we implored him to tell us what was wrong (we had done this many times up to this point). He said he didn’t want to go and he wanted to stay at the guest house, eat lunch, and watch TV. We were so relieved to actually get anything out of him that Brian went and picked up McDonald’s and brought it back to the guest house.

I cannot tell you how hard these episodes are. It’s hard because typical parenting doesn’t work. We can’t just send him to his room or tell him if he doesn’t talk, we’re going to do what we wanted (go to a cool place and eat delicious food, not cold McDonald’s). My first response is to tell him if he doesn’t talk to us and answer our questions, then we cannot do what he wants and that’s just going to have to be ok. It seems a reasonable response, but it doesn’t work when you’re trying to build attachment. You have to gain the trust and get that communication open again. You have to keep asking questions, even and especially when you get no response. You have to keep telling your child you love them and want to know what they want. This process is heartbreaking and hard. It’s tiring and frustrating. 

Our afternoon was low key after that point. T wanted to swim a little while later and I obliged and jumped into the freezing water to tow T around on the crocodile. After getting out, changing, and warming up, T announced he wanted to go to the place Brian had suggested for supper (the place that produced the meltdown at lunch). 

The creepy gnomes T keeps insisting we move. There are always ants under one of them.

Montecasino is huge. It definitely draws inspiration for the Bellagio insomuch as it has indoor areas to walk that look like a small Italian village and shops. It has a cinema, comedy club, tons of restaurants, a bird sanctuary, and, of course, a casino. We ended up eating at a place called The Meat Co. Brian had a stuffed fillet and I had a lamb shank. After dinner we walked around for a little bit, but were being mindful that it was time to head back as it was getting dark.

While driving home, we saw an overturned truck and there were many, many people bending over and lifting. I thought the truck had overturned and there were people injured. There were so many cars that had pulled over to the side of the road to help, even people rushing down a hill from the bridge above. It was truly amazing to see people pull together to save…beer. A beer truck had overturned. The people bravely putting their lives at risk on the side of the highway were grabbing as much beer as they could carry. Taxis (12 passenger crazy vans which are above all law) were pulled over with people leaping out to grab cans and bottles. The police were there, but simply to make sure no one was injured while looting. It was a good laugh for Brian and I as we headed home. I was sad not to have snapped a picture while we were driving by!

South Africa: Day 12, Centurion

T playing with an accordion thingy. He keeps shoving Lego people into it and they keep getting stuck. My life now includes rescuing stuck Lego people. And yes, that's a Lego port-o-let in the top left corner.

Attachment is such a tricky thing. If you’re born into a family, you’re biologically predisposed to be attached to your mother. When, for whatever reason, that attachment is broken, it’s hard to build back. Thankfully, T has a great relationship with one of his caregivers. He (and the others at the care home) has called her "mommy" all his life and she has done all she can to make sure that life has been good. The care and trust in that relationship has helped rebuild T's ability to attach (bond) with us.

Because Brian and I are walking into this relationship and starting new with T, we are working hard to create that bonding and attachment that don’t come easily. In attachment, it’s all about saying "yes" as much as possible. Can your child get a suit coat and bow tie? Yes. Can your child pick the restaurant for every meal? Yes. Can your kid eat pretty much whatever they want within reason? Yes. Can you kid watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone four nights in a row? Yes. (To be fair, I’m definitely down with that last one.) It helps the child feel like they have some control in a world that is dramatically changing around them. It helps them to see that we care for and love them and are willing to go to great lengths for them to trust us.

T's new threads.

Today was the first big test of the attachment that Brian and I have been working so hard to build. In our preparation for breakfast and for the day, we told T we were going to church, then lunch (he can pick the restaurant), then swimming in the pool, then dinner (once again, he can pick the restaurant). He started freaking out that church was a bad, scary place and he didn’t want to go. We told him that our family goes every week and that we could talk about it after breakfast. We wanted to give him some time to think about it.

When the time came to leave, he started acting out in ways unusual for him. He took apart several of his Lego cars while staring off into the distance, would not hold our hands, and would not make eye contact. The last two meant we were pushing our relationship and his ability to trust us into new territory. We sat down on his level and told him we would never do anything to hurt him and that he could trust us. We wanted him to trust us with this. We told him that if, once we were there, he felt uncomfortable or wanted to leave at any time, we would. After talking to him (that’s what it felt like) for about 20 minutes and hugging him and reassuring him that he would be ok, we picked him up (he would not walk with us) and carried him to the car.

The whole car ride was suspenseful. He (thankfully) was still communicating with us through nods and shakes of his head, but it was little more than that. I gave him a box of TicTacs to hold on to and eat as he wished. When we pulled up to the church, he flat out refused to go. Brian took him out of his booster seat and he tried to get back in. Brian reminded him that we wanted him to try to go and that if after he tried, but still wanted to leave, we would. 

Walking up to the church was like walking with a zombie. It was all we could do to get him to walk. Thankfully, even though we arrived late, they had three seats together on the end of an aisle (this was unusual as the church apparently had 50 people sitting in the overflow later on due to lack of seats). T automatically sat down (even though everyone else was standing) and just stared. We offered him a sweatshirt (because this church makes the North Pole seem warm), crayons and paper, a fidget toy, gum, water, snacks, etc. He didn’t want anything. After about 15 minutes of him staring, you could see him start to look around and observe what was going on. He eventually accepted the sweatshirt and gum, and even his posture was a little more relaxed. About an hour later (still just listening and not playing), he leaned over and said he wanted to go, so we did. Although doing so in the middle of the sermon was a little awkward, we wanted to keep our word.

Later, in a mall (duh!), we thanked him for trusting us that he wouldn’t be hurt. We asked him what he thought. He said it was nice and he liked the singing. He wanted to go back tomorrow. We told him we only go on Sundays, but that we could try it again next Sunday. At this point, my heart felt 10,000 times lighter. He didn’t hate us. Our attachment wasn’t starting back at square one! 

While in the mall, we broke down and bought T a suit coat, dress shirt, bow tie, and neck tie. This kid. He has been asking every single day we were out for a tie. Doesn’t he know we only wear t-shirts and jeans? He’ll learn! But he’s going to look snazzy for our court date, that’s for sure!

The bow tie has robots on it. ROBOTS!

We spent the afternoon lounging around, watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates, and swimming. I got to pet an awesome bulldog a ton (she’s the guard dog for the guest house). I’m pretty sure that any criminal could gain easy access by petting her belly, which she presents instantly upon seeing any human.

My new best friend.

Riding on his crocodile (his choice over a shark, dolphin, or sting ray floatie).

Tonight was wrapped up by another requested video chat session with the Oneal family and finishing up the second half of Harry Potter (with all of the scary bits skipped, which ends up to be a lot in that portion, apparently). He’s now strewn across his bed (I don’t know how he sleeps in the twisted, bent ways he does) and fast asleep.

Brian and I are so thankful T trusted us the way he did. We know this is not usual. We know this is the answer to so many people praying for us and encouraging us. Today could have gone in a completely different direction. It could have been bad—really bad—but it wasn’t. It ended up being good—really good. My heart is so full right now. What a good and faithful God we serve.

South Africa: Day 11, Centurion

New watch, new headphones and playing with Legos. Living the dream.

Today was filled with ups and downs. It started early like yesterday, not because of T, but because our air conditioner unit was leaking onto our carpet. I woke up to sodden thumps on the carpet. After cleaning up a watery mess, we went back to sleep. T has always been an early riser (or so his file claimed). Today, he slept until 7:45 when we woke him up for breakfast (which they were serving at 8). He still seemed reluctant to get up, but was finally persuaded with the promise of fruit and corn flakes.

It was one of the colder days (high of around 75°F), so the pool was not an option today. Our morning was spent working on Legos and building a new set Brian had bought last week. I built a porta-potty. This is my life now. Building toilets. I love it! We colored and spent some time reading books. We also gave T his headphones (which go to his iPad, but he doesn’t know that yet). He enjoyed decorating them (they came with stickers) and listening to music on Brian’s phone.

Around lunch, T announced he wanted to go to the care home for lunch and dinner today. Needing to know if we should pack his clothes and toiletries, we asked if he wanted to sleepover with us. He said yes. Or did he want to sleepover at the care home. He said yes. We brought the clothes just in case. 

It was hard realizing he might want to spend the night at the care home. I totally understood why—he’s missing his family (all of the other kids there and his caregivers) and his home. But for some reason, I felt we hadn’t done enough that morning to make him want to stay with us. Brian reminded me that he was obviously confused (hence the yes to sleeping over at both places) and that we were still the new ones, the unknown. It’s hard seeing him torn between his old life (which is still fresh on his mind and heart) and his new life (with us crazies as his mom and dad). 

When we arrived at the home, it was close to lunch. When the kids sat down, they began handing out chicken burgers. I tell you—this kid knows when a burger is within a 5-mile radius. He only ever orders burgers and pizzas. We’re working on getting him to eat a wider variety, but he’s pretty stubborn about his burgers.

After lunch, Brian and I did what we’ve been avoiding for years—we watched Frozen. Avoiding it for that long and finally being cornered into it in an orphanage in South Africa was ridiculous. It ended up being a good time as this is the first movie I’ve heard those kids talk/sing during. I decided to join in on the singing portion as one cannot help but know lyrics to the songs when you’ve got nieces and nephews obsessed with the movie.

T’s favorite caregiver had been told about his confusion and she decided to talk with him. She told him that from this point forward, he would stay with us. If he was really missing the home, we could call her and she would come visit us at the guest house (I really do love this woman). He ended up being ok with that decision, so she then called in the other 10 school age kids (many of whom have grown up with T) and talked with them about this transition. She asked if there were any questions. After the ensuing dialog occurred (mainly one kid saying he was bored and the kid who loves food asking what was in the donut box), T said goodbye to his friends. He will see them again on Thursday after court, but it felt heavy to me.

After a dinner at KFC (T’s choice), we did a video call with my sister and her family. It was a smashing hit! They had their kids show T their toys and ask him simple questions (favorite color, animal, etc). He liked talking with them so much that an encore Skype session was requested/demanded. With the call completed, we watched the first half of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone again. (Another step in motherhood—watching the same movie a million times.) He’s now fast asleep and I’m about to crash, too. Tomorrow will be our first full day without going to the care home.

South Africa: Day 10, Centurion

Today began early. Too early for my liking. I woke up and was convinced T would be waking up any minute. I was awake for a while before I checked the time - 2:04. T was not getting up any time soon. Around 3:00, Brian and I were up talking about life and the stress therein. I fell back asleep somewhere between 3:30 and 4:00. At 4:06, Brian woke me up to tell me T was running around, and indeed he was. We were told he typically wakes up around 6:00. It was too early. I ushered him back to bed and offered to rub his back. For the next hour and a half, I rubbed his back. Every time I thought he was asleep, I’d try to get back to sleep next to him and he’d roll over and say, “Rub more.” (He rolls his Rs and, lucky for him, it’s adorable.)

When our alarm went off at 6:15, our day began in earnest. We played with toys, read books, and did school (writing 1s, 2,s and the words for both). Brian was able to get some work done today as we didn’t have to shuttle all over the place. It was good, too, because we are finally able to get an idea of what sizes T wears. We were told 7 because he’s 7, which makes no sense. T is a small dude and size 7 clothes would fall off. Thankfully, we found out T’s Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt fits! We’re going to have to bribe him to wear it (he took it off right away), but it fits!

We grabbed a quick bite of pizza for lunch, then headed back to the guest house for swimming. We bought a huge inflatable floating crocodile (T’s choice) and some floats for the pool. After 10 minutes of blowing the darn thing up, we were ready to go! T had a lot of fun. He hopped on and I would fling him around the pool. It quickly became apparent that T does not like to fall fully into the water. After a few tumbles into the cold (and I mean cold) water, T was done. One of the owners of this place told him he could store the crocodile in the pool, so it’s floating around as we speak. I count this up as a blessing because I wasn’t sure where we could store a 4’6” long, wet inflatable crocodile in our current residence.

After the pool, we showered and headed back to the care home. T wanted to see his friends. I think this kid is a genius—10 minutes after we showed up, they rolled out the snack train. With snacks inhaled, the kids had a new vigor for playing. While T played with his friends and showed off his new wallet and watch, I got to talk with two gals from Frankfurt, Germany who are volunteering for two months at the home. It was great to talk with them and have the automatic commonality of loving the same city (I lived there for three years from 5-8 years old). We commiserated over the extremely relaxed culture and mourned for schedules and clear guidelines.

Avocado tree in the backyard of the children's home.

After some good friend time, we headed to a mall to grab some healthy snacks and dinner. At dinner, I could tell T was torn over his visit to the home. In the last 24 hours, he had spent less time with his friends than he had ever spent. I asked him if he liked seeing his friends and he shook his head no and nodded yes (we’re working on talking about our emotions). I told him it was ok to feel two things. He didn’t say anything.

Coloring at dinner. He's wearing a new t-shirt with scuba skull and crossbones. 

After dinner, and with healthy snacks in tow, we headed back to the guest house. After changing into pjs, we finished the second half of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. We stopped in the middle to do a quick call with Uncle Chance as it is his birthday. He got to talk with T (I say he talked, T grinned from ear to ear) and T got to meet his cousins Louis and Edward (Nasko was at school).

T is now tucked into bed and sleeping (I assume). Please pray for him—I can tell this whole thing is really starting to hit him as he’s now shifted from us coming to him and then leaving at the end of the day to him being with us 24 hours a day. Pray we will know how to comfort him and love on him as he’s working through these big emotions and life changes.

South Africa, Day 9, Centurion

Today started early! Our stint at our hotel in Pretoria was ending. We had packed our bags the night before, so it was really a matter of getting up early, grabbing breakfast, vacating our room, and checking into our new place (called a guest house here—a lot like a bed and breakfast). 

After checking out, we still had a little bit of time before we could check in at 10:00. Brian wanted to check out TriBeCa Coffee, so we found their roastery, which contained a small coffee shop as well. The lead barista teacher (it’s also a barista school) found out I don’t like coffee. He couldn’t believe it and told me he was going to make a traditional cappuccino for me. He handed it to me with such expectation that I would like it. I’ve never liked a coffee drink in my life. Imagine my surprise that it wasn’t terrible, I kind of liked it, and I actually finished the drink! 

T making a fashion statement by wearing goggles. From left to right: Edward, Louis, Brian, and myself.

We found T in the classroom drawing pictures (shoutout to Edward and Louis who were part of the drawing). We spent some time drawing and coloring with T before heading out. We went to a mall (of course) because there seems to be nothing else to do here. We decided on bowling and games at a place akin to Chuck E. Cheese, minus the creepy animatronic mouse. T did well with bowling and got second place. He enjoyed having free reign to pick games to play and won a whooping 150 tickets. He bought two packs of army men (with weird Plants vs. Zombies pieces mixed in) and a glow in the dark rubber ring.

T and Brian watching the progress of T's bowling ball.

While walking around, T continued his commentary about ties and watches. While we’re still hesitant about the ties (we live in jeans and t-shirts), we did decide to buy him a watch. We stopped at Swatch and let T pick out a new watch. The choice ended up being a Batman watch. He made dad proud!

After the mall, we headed back to the home to pick up T’s change of clothes and toiletries. T played with his friends for a little bit before we left to pick up pizza for our movie night. The movie? Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, naturally! It was so sad because when I posted a picture of T watching the movie, I saw that Alan Rickman had passed away. It made me sad, but glad to see T enjoying the movie and hopeful he will love the books as much as I do.

T watching Harry Potter.

After half of the movie, we tucked T in for the night. There are few times in my life I will remember as vividly as tucking in my son, telling him I love him, and kissing him on his forehead. Seeing Brian do the same was a moment I will always cherish in my heart. It’s moments like this that make me feel like a mother. It’s moments like this that make us a family.